After some time, you think more about the words she used: “I’m disappointed in you.” That’s it. That’s the reason. Those exact words tormented you as a child when nothing was ever good enough for your mother.

The moment you just experienced is a trigger. Something happens now that triggers a difficult memory or feeling from your past, and this affects your mental health. We all have these moments. They just vary in intensity, the subject matter, the experiences then and now, and the responses then and now. Sometimes a person will become very anxious and even have a panic attack, others depressed, and others in recovery from addiction are pushed back towards considering their drug of choice.

So how do you handle moments like this?

Fast forward to living in “divorce world.” You’re lonely and want to meet someone. You think you know what you want and want you don’t want, but maybe it’s time to start over. Yes, there’s certainly things in those categories, but maybe you’ve placed things in the “don’t want / don’t need” groups that you didn’t want or need 20 years ago and now you do. If you keep them excluded and don’t consider them, how will you really know?

You may also think to yourself: How could I stay with my ex for years? How can I trust myself to make the right decisions on love when I made such wrong ones? What do I really want?

Some tips for navigating this new phase of your life: